Autism Awareness Month

When we brought Jason home he was already showing us that he was going to be a little bit of a hard kid.  He was born with a soft cleft palate and had a confirmed hearing loss until about two years ago.  

Thinking this was what we were going to be dealing with Brett and I took it all in stride and started finding out how to help him.  My Aunt had worked for Early Intervention and since Jason was more than likely going to have communication issues I gave them a call when he was three weeks old.  

We started learning sign language and knew that he would have to have his palate repaired sometime around ten months old.  He continued to grow and progress in some ways, but he never started to speak.  Not a big deal, we were learning sign language.

At 18 months Jason decided to stop sleeping.  When I say stop sleeping I MEAN he stopped sleeping.  He went from the fifteen hours or so that they should be sleeping, to three hour stints of sleep.  He on average was getting five hours of sleep a day.  I took him to the doctor to see if he had an ear infection, and he didnt.  She started to get up to say good bye, and I said, “Wait a minute.  I want you to watch him.”  The longer she watched him the bigger her eyes got.  The silence stretched as he took the suckers out of the box one at a time, and then proceeded to put them back in one at a time.  She said that there was some concerns and that we would want to set up an appointment with his usual primary care physician within the week.  

Thankfully Jason had Early Intervention already because I had requested a new speech evaluation.  The day that Jason had his well check he also had the speech eval.  Brett had to stay home, because I had set up Duncan and Jason with their well checks on the same day.  Brett took Duncan to the doctor and I stayed home for the eval.  When the speech therapist tried to use traditional testing and discovered very quickly that Jason wasn’t going to be testable.  She wrote up her recommendations and she carefully suggested that we get Jason tested for Autism.  

I took the paperwork right into his well check and our favorite medical person, Lisa, took it out of my hands and started pointing us in the right direction.  Thankfully I had made two appointments for the same day, because Brett was there to hear it all. I wasn’t alone, learning everything.  I didn’t have to try and explain the concerns to him, he was there.  He got the run down with me.

At the time Jason wasn’t even two years old so we really didn’t know what to expect, but had the idea that he would just be a super intelligent, quirky kid, that needed some therapy every now and again.  

One day at my sisters house Jason was pacing, flapping and happy squealing.  I watched him doing his thing and finally asked my Mom to watch him.  She thought it was a bit concerning but nothing out of the ordinary.  I asked her to watch him and think of Michael.  

Let me tell you who Michael is.  When I was twelve years old a family lived across the street from us.  They had four kids and the oldest was severely affected by Autism.  He paced around the house, loved to jump on the trampoline, did a lot of flapping and a lot of vocal stimming.  I had the opportunity to babysit him a couple times.  

After I pointed that out, my Mom refused to see it, but I knew we were in for a long haul.  I think the Lord had that sweat family move in across the street for me.  He knew I would need to accept Jason for who he is from the very beginning.

I wasn’t the only one who was prepared.  Brett had an experience as a teenager in a new step family.  They have a few children with Down Syndrome in the extended family.  As Brett watched the parents have to deal with the older children’s aggressions and social anxieties the thought went through his head that he would NEVER want to have to deal with a disabled child.  The thought immediately came to him that he was going to have a child with a disability.  So Brett being the man that he is, tucked it away for future reference and went on with life.

As we have had more and more difficult situations with Jason we will periodically hear the phrase, “God will only give you things that you can handle.”  To which I say “BOLOGNA”.

Sorry Ya’ll.  The Lord gives you things that you can handle with his help.  NOT, what you can handle.  There have been hard days.  Some days I want to crawl in bed and never get out.  There are days that after fighting and fighting for services, and insurance payments, we still don’t have what he needs.  There have been so many doctors appointments I can’t even count them.  I can’t even dream without worrying about this boy.  I am constantly dreaming about losing him.  Let me tell you that doesn’t end up with a good nights sleep.  

Thankfully, the Lord prepared us to accept Jasons issues quickly.  The Lord also gave Jasons mother a very stubborn attitude.  My mother would never have guessed how much this has been a great need in my life.  You can’t go to an IEP meeting, ready to fight if you don’t have the attitude that everyone there WILL be helping your baby.  You can’t go testify in front of the state legislature if you don’t think it’s absolutely necessary that he receive Medicaid to get the services he needs.  You can’t talk to Medical specialists and not have a good sense of self when they tell you your wrong, especially when they are the one that is incorrect.  

The Lord made sure that Jasons whole family is physically strong.  Brett is the strongest man I know.  Duncan is the second strongest man I know.  My girls can still pick him up and haul him around.  I can hold him for quite a while in my arms even though he’s ten years old.  When he’s having one of his melt downs I can still throw him over my shoulder and haul him out of the front room.  When he doesn’t want to get out of the swimming pool after three hours I can still pick him up and haul him up the stairs. When I’m at the grocery store and some old lady tells me to control my child because he has been happy screaming through the store, I have the strength to walk away and not slap her.

Yes my friends.  The Lord only gives you what you can handle WITH his help.  Sometimes you need to hunt down the blessings, but I promise they are there.  I promise he cares for all of you.  He doesn’t just care for Jason, he cares how I am doing.  He cares that Brett LOVES his job. He cares that Duncan is doing well at school, in a program that seems taylored to him.   That Tori has gained a huge amount of confidence and self esteem in the last year.  That Samantha is a beautiful artist and that is drawing quite a bit of positive attention to her.  

Always look for the lords hand.  It is there.  I promise.